My Strange Addiction

Please tell me that someone else out there has had the viewing pleasure of watching TLC's new show, My Strange Addiction? It's out of control, I do not know where they find these hot messes but if TLC keeps this up I may have to knock something out of my tight TV rotation so I can become a more regular viewer. Anyways, a show like this naturally gets you thinking about your own addictions imperfections (I know what you're thinking... but Meghan, I thought your only imperfection was not having any imperfections)...Truth is, I have been struggling with my own strange addiction for sometime now. Drum roll please...

Ok so, strange, maybe not, but I have a late night pizza ADDICTION and to make matters worse it is usually ingested under the influence (PUI, pizza under the influence). Today as I awoke extremely hungover dehydrated, I knew what I would have to face when I walked into my living room. That stupid white paper plate, caked and coated with the remains of a battle I had once again lost.. and let me tell you, by the look of things it was bloody.

Lets take this back a step. To me, diet is a four letter word. If I had the willpower time I would work out 8 hours a day if it meant I got to eat whatever I wanted. Unfortunately, I've been told diet and exercise go hand in hand. I get it, you can't survive on a diet of Bud Light, Wendy's and grilled cheese sandwiches (although I think that's what heaven is like..). I mean don't get me wrong, I'm pretty proud of my eating habits (minus my strange addiction). I cook for myself 6 days a week, pack my lunch and, dare I say, even enjoy vegetables. Things could be a lot worse.That being said, I have also never been one to deprive myself. I do not know how people do it. Just NOT EAT things they love.  But sadly, my addiction keeps creeping into my life...

The late night pizza became a staple around, oh I don't know, Day 1 of college. Whether I knew it or not, I was enrolled in Pizza 101.  Things got really bad around the time Domino's introduced the infamous, 5-5-5 deal. Oh. My. Pizza. I mean, come on, it's a DEAL! And that was typically the sales pitch I used to convince most people that 3 pizzas was better than 1 pizza at 3 am on a Saturday. One time, I almost ate a whole pizza to mah-self. Impressive, yes, felt good in the morning? Negative. Another time, a friend and I got 2 late night slices to share. When she was on the phone in another room, I ate BOTH. It's like I blacked out, had the blood on my hands and didn't remember how I got there. Conveniently, I never remembered that feeling the next time I was tempted--guilt, regret, severe discomfort. Me and late night pizza were in a relationship and things were moving pretty fast...

Let's fast forward 4 years, and enough zas to feed a third world country, to present day. Late night pizza and I cooled things down over the summer, so I thought I was in good shape. Shortly after moving into my new apartment I realized the MESS I had gotten myself into. Holy. Shit. Could I break my lease? Was there any going back? How do I even begin to right this incredible wrong? How had I NOT noticed..pizza by the slice, 2 store fronts down, open until 5am (uh yeah...I'm looking at you 13th St. Pizza). I was able to resist for awhile, but I found myself more consistently waking up with that "why did I do that" feeling in the morning. At first it was your typical cheese, then I got into the hard stuff; chicken, bacon, ranch pizza, mac & cheese pizza, even BAKED POTATO PIZZA!! 

So...where does one go from here? Someone's got to intervene, because I am about one slice away from shaving my head, rockin' some Keds, looking a hot mess and attacking a paparazzo with an umbrella...