Routine: Friend or Foe?

I've been no stranger to sharing here that I have a certain type of personality. Call it what you will; Type A, particular, a planner, a sucker for consistency, a need for control. A beast of many names.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about this part of me. This need to be one step ahead. Well, to be honest, one step ahead of the person who is already one step ahead. This constant need for constant. The challenging part is distinguishing the role that these personality traits play in my life. Positive or negative? Good or bad? Friend or foe?

My argument has always been quite simple; friend. Routine keep us structured. Accountable. In line. Routine and consistency are the reasons I can keep my work week in line, how I manage stress, how I keep from imploding. It helps me make small strides towards larger goals. Consistency keeps me accountable to my running schedule, gives me a step by step guide of how to train and prepare for a race. Planning saves me a trip to the grocery store everyday, it keeps me well rested, and ahead of the game; in short, its keeps my world turning.

But what happens when your good friend turns on you? When routine doesn't make you happy, and productive, and in line with the world's plan for you? When planning becomes over planning, when analyzing becomes over analyzing? When you begin to force all of your daily activities, and your actions become inauthentic and ingenuine? When you begin following the routine plan, and stop listening to yourself?

I've learned, like most things in life, it's not black and white. To achieve balance you cannot be Type A in all aspects of your life. Your personal and professional life just won't survive. The very definition of balance tells us that you can't carry all that weight on your shoulders. It must be equally distributed.

So, I challenge all of you, as I challenge myself, to correct one inauthentic routine or behavior. To break a "bad" routine. To think twice before going into autopilot, and evaluate a need for change in just one behavior in your daily life. Make your life, your work, your relationship, more passionate and more alive by seeking change somewhere you find you're unhappy or in need of a boost.

Routine is always going to be a friend and a foe, an angel and a devil; the challenge is recognizing the routine behaviors that just don't work for you anymore, and taking steps to turn them into more positive, more fulfilling behaviors. Because, hey, it's got to be better than what you're doing!

Change is the only constant, right? But don't have a panic attack Type A'ers, just think of it as planning to be unplanned for awhile..

Don't Hate, Appreciate

Ever find yourself in a rut? That's a silly question, because to say no would be a lie. The more appropriate question most days would be which one? Professionally? Personally? With co-workers? Friends? A partner? Yourself? The list goes on.

I recently found myself there. Rutsville. My long awaited vacation was such a tease. Saving all my vacation time to finally get away, but so much time away can make it hard to go back. Like, really hard.

Without getting into the nuances of my job, I'd say I'm content. Pleased. The long days, the early mornings, and the constant change provide a love-hate relationship. In short, sometimes I love the excitement and the newness of everything, and sometimes, well... you get the point. Post-vacation was especially difficult. My lack of energy, excitement, and enthusiasm had me pondering all of life's big questions (and by life, I clearly mean my fresh-out-of-school, first time entering the workforce, shouldn't this all be rainbows and smiles and everything I've dreamed of... job).  Caution: rut ahead.

And so it went for a few days. The questioning, the short temper, the agitation, the countdown to the weekend. And then, something totally unexpected happened. A small gesture that changed everything. In a routine meeting with my boss, she took the time to let me know that she knew things had been crazy and tumultuous lately. She took the time to tell me how much she appreciated me during this transitional time in our company. That I was valued, that my work was noticed, that I was making her job easier, and that I was an asset to my team.  With that short, 45 second detour in our conversation, the stress, the doubt, and all the other negative feelings began to subside. For the first time in a few very long weeks, a deep breath helped me loosen my chest and clear all of my noise.

The lesson here? I understand we're not all this lucky. This perfect scenario doesn't always present itself at that moment when you need it most, or ever in some cases; but, it taught me that a little appreciation truly does go a long way. Genuine appreciate can be attitude shifting, mood changing, purpose driving. I hope for all of you that you have someone who provides some form of appreciation in your day to day life; but don't give up if it's not right in front of your eyes. Start with yourself! Give yourself the appreciation you deserve. You're doing just fine. You're valuable.  You're making it through, one, two, or five steps at a time. You survived. Appreciate…yourself! And repeat the next day, and the next.

But more importantly, pay it forward. Alleviate someone else's noise; your partner, your friend, your co-worker, your family, by letting them know they're not unnoticed. They're appreciated. They're doing just fine.

That's the thing about a little appreciation; even if it doesn't completely turn you around, no matter where you are on the road to Rutsville, I guarantee it'll stop you dead in your tracks.

Dry January

The holidays take a toll on everyone, some more than others. And I don't know about you, but being home for 10 days in my quiet upstate New York hometown, reunited with friends and family, celebrating the holidays, and rejoicing in my well deserved, long overdue, long awaited FIRST vacation from work since June, meant one thing. Lots…of…booze.

Everyday was a celebration. The first night home, Saturday night, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, the I'm so hungover I might as well keep drinking day after Christmas, New Years Eve. All of this cause for celebration left me sleepy, loopy, bloated, grouchy, and what I imagine the remaining Seven Dwarfs of Drinking would be. I knew immediately that a break from the drinking, the late nights, the food, and the excess, was necessary. ASAP!

Last year my boyfriend embarked on a sober streak from the day after St. Patrick's Day (no explanation needed) until our half marathon in early May. I wish I could say that I was the supportive girlfriend who said I would do it with him, but in my last semester of grad school before graduation in May, I knew I didn't have his willpower to abstain from the relaxation and the celebration. But I watched him stick through it almost until the end (insert peer pressure from my visiting sister and her boyfriend…thanks guys), and told myself I would complete the task along with him next time he did it.

Flash forward to New Years Day. Holy….hangover. I rolled over in bed, and my first words were, "Boyfriend, I'm doing sober January with you..", as I dozed back to sleep, hating my life, my nausea, and the fact that in a few short hours I would have to drive 4 hours in the car back to Philadelphia, and head to work the next morning. Feel bad for me..

But, unlike this story usually ends (I'm sure most of you can't count the number of times the statement "I'm never drinking again" has come out of your mouth), I decided with sober eyes that I was going to follow through on Dry January. Not because I needed to, but in an effort to honor my commitment to better myself, and take a break from all of the excess (while secretly hoping I'd save some dough, and drop some of that holiday poundage).

While it hasn't been easy to resist an evening glass of wine after a hellish challenging day at the office, or a Friday Happy Hour with friends after work, I'm so far enjoying my responsible evenings and peaceful mornings. 

So raise your club soda, fuel the rumor that you're more than likely pregnant, and here's to a happy, Advil-free January! 

Cheers!

May Old Resolutions Be Forgot

Maybe this post should take a cue from my last one. How did we get here? January 2, 2013, months (and that's generous) without a post, more changes than I can count, a new season, a new year…you take your pick!

But I'm back. And with that, a new commitment to myself to revisit you all. And not just for you, even though I know you've all missed me so, but for me. 

I stray from the "R" word though. Not a resolution. The pressure once a year to make grand, often unattainable changes, only complicated by the 5-8 lbs of holiday weight, lingering hangover, and the "I can't believe I really have to go back to work" mornings in bed. 

So this year mine is not an intention, to be forgotten once the cold of winter hits, but a commitment, a promise.

To revive not only my blog but myself. 

To do the things that make me happy, and to do more of the things I know will make me happy if I just shut up and do them. 

To run. 

To write. 

To enjoy. 

To stress less. 

To connect. 

To find and maintain balance. 

To continue searching for my passion. To find it.

To make lasting change. For this 365 days, and the next, and the next. 

So, don't be overwhelmed by the January 1 resolution deadline. Start January 2, or 3, or 23. May old resolutions be forgot, to make room for all of your commitments this year.

..and hey, if you can kick those 5-8 lbs, consider it an added bonus!

How Did We Get Here?

August 17.

How did we get here? As you can see time has been flying, and I’m having a cringe-worthy moment looking at the date of my last post. The crazy thing is I’ve had tons of material; SO much has been happening it’s almost hard to decide what to recap first.  It’s hard to believe I’m recapping a majority of the summer (which I refuse to believe is because it’s almost over), but here it goes:

-News of the big engagement has kept everyone excited, and the next big to-do is the big day! The way the summer has progressed, June 8 will be here before we all know it.

-Working backwards a bit, my sister moved… TO HAWAII! While I’m totally jealous (naturally) and visions of coconuts dance in my head, it’s been an odd adjustment getting used to her being so far away. While she was just a hop, skip and a jump away in Baltimore before, we saw very little of one another until her last few months on the mainland. But to know she’s happy, bronzed, and finally reunited with her other half, takes the edge off missing her so much..

-Oh yeah, I’m employed! I started a new job where I’m lucky enough to feel increasingly comfortable each day. Some days are more stressful than others (is there anything that makes you feel MORE in the way than starting a new job?), but all and all a great environment that I totally lucked out scoring.

-My smiley, amazingly beautiful niece (she must get it from her godmother, ahem) turned 1! One year old! Seems like it was just yesterday she was an even littler nugget and I was imagining who she’d become..

-My boyfriend and I were a traveling duo up and down the northeast coast. Home a few times, to NYC to visit my one and only grad school bestie (she knows how to treat me: please see the alcoholic popsicle floating in a pool of champagne below), but my favorite, by far, was getting back to my childhood vacation spot in Connecticut, even if only for the weekend. And the best part, my boyfriend was able to join me this year!

What a summer, and so much left on the horizon! A trip to Texas to visit my college BFF with my other college BFF (San Antonio will never be the same), my brother and soon to be sister-in-law’s engagement party (a double treat as I’ll get to see my nieces and brother and sister-in-law as well), hopefully a half marathon in the fall, and much, much more.

But first, a much deserved vacation. In a few short hours I’ll be off to Wilmington, NC for a weekend of beach, booze, food, and lots of laughter. And the best part? This time, I’m ditching the 8 hour car ride; 90 minutes to paradise.

So, honestly, I don’t know how we got here. BUT I’m going to try to enjoy it before it passes.

Everyone Loves An Engagement!

What have I learned this week? Everyone loves an engagement. And of course, for good reason!

Before I get started, everyone cool your jets, this is not my engagement. Last week we got great news that my brother (and soon to be sister-in-law) are engaged! Its funny how such great news creates a certain euphoric state amongst everyone, not just the future Mr. and Mrs. Kind of like the indescribable baby high I felt when my nieces were born.

Growing up, trailing behind my brother by just two years, we shared a lot without even knowing it. He went off to college; I followed two years behind. He went off to grad school; I followed two years behind. He secured his first job; I trailed a year behind. As we both became older, and that baby gap began to close, we even shared friends, experiences, and dare I say, laughs. Without knowing it, he's paved "the way" for me in many ways, and to see him (and his fiance) so happy, so content, and so crazy about one another, makes me so excited to again follow the example he's set.....eventually!

And so with another wedding comes another welcome member of our constantly changing family, no longer defined by Mom, Dad, Andy, Katie, and Kevin. When all is said and done, my family won't just double in size, but as I've learned with the introduction of my nieces, and sister-in-law, its bound to triple, maybe quadruple in size by the time we're all accounted for.

So congratulation again to the happy couple, we feel very lucky to have you both!

Off The Wagon

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It's been....two three four weeks since my last real run...

...Ugh.

With the exception of maybe 3 or 4 running-walking-running miles, I have been out of commission. And yes, it feels exactly how it sounds. Gross. 

How could it be? How did this all happen? Well kids, coming down from my post-half marathon high (I have to stop milking this, its been over a month already) I have seriously fallen off the exercise wagon. Hard.

Technically speaking, I would classify my last real run as my race. That's right, my May 6th race. What started out as a little post-race reward has turned into an out of control, spiral of lazy.

It started out harmless enough. Post-race I was feeling great. Not only had I finished my third half, but I had beat my personal best time when I was expecting to do much worse. School was over. I was temporarily unemployed on vacation. I could finally relax with nothing on my plate. Life was good. I had previously read that following a long race, it is customary to take a day off for each mile completed. 13.1 miles = Roughly two weeks. Typically, I had taken a little less than two weeks, but time moved quickly and before I knew it my two week "get out of jail free" card had expired. I gave myself a serious mental pep talk that the 13th day would be the day; the day to get off my ass start moving. Back to routine, enough of the lounging, eating, drinking, and sunning (well...temporarily, of course). 

But, conveniently, things kept getting in the way of my fitness dreams. The bad weather, the beautiful weather (ironically enough), evening cocktails with friends, reality TV, the usuals. Before I knew it, 6:00pm would roll around with no run completed for the day, and I'd be headed somewhere else, making it impossible (but not really) to get a workout in. 

As you can see, I am not short on excuses for this behavior. But not-so-deep-down I know that's just what they are; excuses. I feel tired, and gross, and so not my usual Victoria Secret self. I know that four, ok FIVE, weeks ago I completed a huge fete. That a few weeks of consistent exercise and I'll be back to 5-6 miles easy. But, the inner toddler in me keeps screaming I JUST DON'T WANNA!!!!

So today, the day I swear to be the last day off my exercise wagon, I am looking for a new challenge. Something to get me going. Spinning? Swimming? A new class? Join a gym? A 5K? A 10K? Something to get me moving and give me something to look forward to in the next few months. 

So as I sit, butt planted firmly on the couch, I welcome your suggestions openly...

...just don't wake me from my Kardashian-induced TV coma.