Saturday, January 21, 2012

Why Are Smart Girls So Stupid?

I know what you're thinking, this could go a few ways. But, I have one smart-girl-gone-stupid habit in particular that's been irking me for the last few weeks. And the worst part? I'm one of the worst offenders..

I've recently come into the home stretch of my school year, and with that I've started a new internship. Being the perfectionist, Type A maniac, overachiever, someone who strives for success in anything I do, I am constantly afraid of failing. Of screwing up. Doing something wrong. Starting a new job, or internship (for those of you, like myself, still delaying your entry into the real world), is always stressful. Am I doing this right? How long is my grace period? Why didn't I know how to do this? Isn't anyone going to tell me where to find this? How many times is too many times to ask a question? And on, and on and on (note: for those of you more in touch with reality, please feel free to cut your string of questions in half for greater accuracy). 

Anyways, while I refuse to lump us all in one, I have a friend who can relate. Who goes through the same motions as me. So then I did this, and I totally screwed up. Or, so then I did this instead of this and she wrote me this email correcting me, and I think she's really disappointed..While we both comfort each other by telling the other that these are totally normal mistakes and we're both new at this, etc., it begs the obvious question: why can't we think these logical thoughts for ourselves? Why can't we see the logic that we present to one another? Why can't we think like the smart girls that we are? Why are we, as smart girls, so stupid sometimes?

What it comes down to is really a good thing; taking pride in the way we present ourselves in any situation, whether we have all the pieces of the puzzle or we're trying to work with the ones we have and expect, (unreasonably) to complete it just as perfectly. Its just not possible, and any smart girl would tell you so. 

I see this as a great challenge that lies ahead, unfortunately not just for me, but for smart girls everywhere. To condition ourselves to be the smart girls who don't focus solely on trying to do everything perfect, without any error or fault, the first time; but to be the smart girls who think smart, act smart, use logic and own the confidence that we've earned these last 18 years of working hard.  

So next time you think about beating yourself up over this, that, or something else no one will remember tomorrow, just think.. what would a smart girl do?

Friday, January 6, 2012

To 2012

There's no way around it. Everyone has resolutions. Even you, and you and you who say you don't, everyone has something they want to better, whether it be January 1st or June 1st. 

As the calender changed, and I traded in December 2011 for January 2012, I got thinking about my own. And while I know you're all thinking there couldn't possibly be anything I'd want to change about my life in 2012, I actually couldn't settle on just one. Mine reads more as a resolution list, and let me tell you 2012--you've got your work cut out for you:

*Get off my fat ass Get back on the wagon. My registration (and $85, ouch that hurts) is submitted for my second Pittsburgh Half Marathon, May 6th 2012, and I'm going to be ready. More ready than last year, and more ready than Philadelphia. In fact, I'll be breaking 2:08 this year.. 

*Neglect less. I have been a neglectful parent; blog parent that is. I look back at my posted history and see how excited, how full of ideas (or problems?) I was at this time last year, and ultimately how it slowly weened off as the months progressed. I'll be here, releasing my stress in a healthy way electronically. Sharing and (hopefully) being read on the other end. 

*Remember my stock pile of stuffed shells? 
While "procrastinate less" should have really made the cut on this list, lets face it, I'm a realist. Instead my stock pile will have more variety. I'm going to try a new recipe every week 2 weeks month .... the details are still being worked out. This week on the menu? Homemade chicken pot pie 

*Talk less, listen more (in my real live life that is).. 

*See my family more. With two beautiful nieces growing every day and a sister who may be moving half way across the country later this year, there's plenty to catch up on. Visit, call, Skype, whatever I can fit in. 
*Learn how to be a big kid. Finish school, find a job, become a productive member of society, pay my own cell phone bill for starters. Earn an actual paycheck. This falls at the bottom because while most important, it still scares the bejesus out of me.
Well 2012, there is it. Its crazy to think about what this last year brought. Hell, I can just look back here to see. But as each year is, 2012 will be uniquely different from last year and the year to follow. Between the goals I've laid out for myself and the curve balls I know unfortunately lie ahead, its going to be one interesting year.

So? Let's do this.