Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Staying Hot This Summer

Memorial Day weekend, so we all know, is the unofficial kick off to summer. Unofficial because summer isn't really officially recognized until its late June and we're all already drowning in pools of our own sweat.

If you're like me, or anyone in the Northeast apparently, this weekend was the perfect long weekend to kick off summer. Unseasonably high temperatures, sunshine and if you're lucky enough, pool side lounging. But besides parties and pools, Memorial Day weekend marked the beginning of much, much more. I got a crash course in what I like to call "summer is trying to make you ugly." Let me break it down, and I hope for some of you, its not too late. 

Ladies and gentlemen, we have begun the season of the ponytail/bun/rats nest. With temperatures that reached almost 95 degrees this weekend I started to experience some of my favorite summer past times; near heat stroke walking up two flights of stairs, the "glow" of a hot summer day and sweating while practically still in the shower. Hot, hot, hot. So begins the season of the ponytail. I have tossed aside my foolish ways and practically stopped blow drying my hair altogether (another great way to start sweating upon exiting the shower) and began rocking the ever so popular wet hair pony tail. But not the slicked back, glamorous do you see below. More a wet pony tail reminiscent of the pony tail that you swam around the pool in all day. Damp. Frizzy. Sweaty. Tangled. If only I had some Umbro shorts and a hemp choker you'd swear I was the Meghan you knew and loved in 4th grade, a far cry from the picture below:
Summer is suppose to be a time to be outside and enjoy the beautiful weather you've been given. Right? Kind of. This weekend was the classic excuse of "its too hot." Too hot for what? To walk around, run, breathe, pick your nose. All of the above. Turning my AC unit from "fan" to "cool" was about the only work my biceps got this weekend. Realistically, sweating in my make-shift sauna of an apartment was about the only hope I had of shedding pounds this weekend (unless "trying not move" is a new exercise craze I missed out on).

Speaking of shedding the pounds, beware, summer is trying to work against all of us (because I refuse to speak only for myself). Have you ever heard anyone say "its too hot to eat"? First of all, false. Its like those people who get so busy they "forget" to eat lunch. I never "forget" to eat lunch and its certainly never too hot for me to eat. Case in point, this weekend. BBQ season is the best. But its another way summer is trying to work against your hot, chiseled bod. Last time I checked beer + pasta salad + 2 hot dogs (I would say 1 but we're in the trust tree here) + laying in the air conditioning all day, does not a hot body make.  Apparently these VS models don't get invited to a lot of BBQs:
My last tip to avoid becoming a hot mess this summer, is watch the sun. Everyone loves a tan. Why? Because a tan always makes you look better. I'm sorry, its just science. I don't know about you, but I've found that even if you're not beach ready come summer, tan problem areas look better than translucent, pasty problem areas. Its why I refuse to try on bathing suits in the winter. Its just cruel and unsightly. For everyone. For those of you that tan easily, treat this as a questionnaire and skip to the bottom portion of this blog. For anyone else who suffers from what I like to call "the Irish glow," listen up. Sunscreen is your friend. You know what else is your friend? Evenly applied sunscreen. Because I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times I've ended up looking something like this: 
Summer is a wonderful time of year. Remember, I love summer! But if you don't pay close attention, summer may end up turning you into a mess. So learn from my mistakes and join me; find a new up-do, buy some deodorant, invest in some breathable fabrics, do some lunges on the way to the air conditioner and for the love of God, apply your sunscreen evenly or don't apply it at all.

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