Monday, January 31, 2011

Ode to an Imprisoned Hand

For those of you who don't have the pleasure of running into me on a daily basis, this is the look I've been rockin' of late...

(From top)

(A little flash..I'm a diva I needed a couple angles)
Yep, this has been the look in fractured couture for approximately two weeks. Today, after my 2 hour scheduled appointment, (I'm sorry make that 3 minute appointment, 117 minute recreational period in various waiting rooms) at the Incompetence Hand Center of Philadelphia, I learned the sad fate that my little hand would be imprisoned until my next two week check-up on February 21st  (I know what you're thinking, uhh 2 weeks from now is the 14th, not the 21st?!...Well the receptionist seems to think there are 10.5 days in a week ...seriously, I have a mound of issues with these people).

Now that I have learned my fate, or my hand has for that matter, I'll spill what I am really looking forward to in three "two" weeks:

Getting Rid of the Gym Sock:  If you can tell from the pictures, this splint is artfully crafted. It is made up of one "nude" sock (doesn't it really look JUST like skin?) with the toes cut off, and some sort of plaster-velcro contraption that makes me feel like it's morphin' time. Thankfully my splint hasn't interrupted my running schedule, but it does get quite toasty under there and has given a whole new meaning to the term "gym sock"...

Ponytails: Now that the swelling has gone down and I've learned how to cheat  a bit and fanangle this thing, ponytails have made a slight improvement. But let me tell you, it was touch and go for awhile. I was almost that girl with my sweaty hair flailing about at the gym (which probably would have cause another injury). If you ever have some downtime (don't kid yourselves, I know you're all wondering), try attempting the art of the one-handed ponytail... YEAH

Typing: Laptops, I've mastered. Keyboards are more of a struggle. Imagine if you can having an orthopedic shoe attached to your hand at all times. On top of having to adapt to what I like to call the "hovering hand" (the left hand dangles over the keyboard perpendicular to the keys so as not to hit all sorts of various buttons with my wrist muzzle), I am sure I have scared many of the undergrads in my office suite with my choice words of frustration. 

Double Fisting: Need I say more..?

Until then....


  1. As somebody who's broken many bones before, I would have loved to have a removable splint as opposed to the good ol' plaster cast... At least you can wash your gym sock :/

  2. I personally think it's beyond stylish

  3. Double fisting... a horrible action to lose.

  4. I just read your entire blog in bed because I couldn't sleep (And because I love my iPad.) I hope you already know that you are so stinking funny. Your sense of humor (to capitalize on your phraseology) resonates with me. I could really get get hooked here. You actually made me want to start a colloquy and blog back about some of the things you said. The whole life being a count down concept has, coincidentally, been the catalyst of many decisions in my life over the last year or so. I think you've got it right.
    Watching your orientation change over the years has been fun. I say orientation because you have always had a great, open, inspired perspective and I would not say that it has changed. But, naturally, each new chapter of life brings something new to the forefront...and I liked reading what those things are in your life.

  5. Why my name has Esq after it is not bc I'm a douche. It's because I changed it after I passed the bar and forgot to change it back which I will do before ever posting here again. However I a douche for posting a second time on YOUR blog something all about ME and for my use of the word 'colloquy' above, even though it was apt.

  6. do you know how tickled i was to see tht fabulous power rangers pic linked to "morphin time"?!also, just attempted the one-handed pony tail. all im gna say is, that should be an olympic sport - its that tough.