Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Last Goodbye

Back after an extended hiatus. And what a hiatus it was. While I should be nose deep in school work that I could care less about, this is where I was dying to return to. To share. To reflect. To keep my spirits up. 

My boyfriend made a surprise visit home, one that I somehow managed to keep my lips sealed about, and it was fab-u-lous. Just like they always are. And also bittersweet; just like they always are. Bitter because the routine creeps in like it always does, the roller coaster of emotions; euphoria, excitement, brimming happiness and as much as you try to deny it, the inevitable tinge of sadness as the days to departure get smaller and smaller. But always sweet. Sweet because of togetherness, surprises, smiles, family, friends and a bigger and bigger tease taste of what the future holds. Future, a word that is finally just an arm's length away.

I haven't been shy about sharing my emotional outbursts with the group, but this visit was different. Nearly void of tears. There was little mention of how sad D-Day (departure day) would be. I was conscious to embrace everyday, because this time D-Day wouldn't be as sad as usual. This D-Day was my last. I've said my last goodbye. 

Although 4 months stand in the way, all I have to look forward to are hellos. Hugs. Kisses. Stability. A new routine. A life full of normal days: 

Normal day,
let me be aware of the treasure you are
Let me learn from you
love you, savor you,
bless you before you depart.
Let me not pass you by in quest of some
rare and perfect tomorrow. 
Let me hold you while I may, 
for it will not always be so.
One day I shall dig my fingers into the earth,
or bury my face in the pillow, or
raise my hands up to the sky, and
want more than all the world
your return.


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