Friday, February 11, 2011

Inbetween-ie


I believe it was the great poet of my youth, Britney Spears, who so eloquently shared with the world "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.."

Ah, yes. This is where I do my soul searching too

........................Sorry I got lost in song there for a moment. Although I personally wouldn't quite express it in those same beautifully crafted words, I at times wonder where exactly I fit in in this mid-twenties range I find myself in. If you can't relate to being a teen anymore (mostly because... well, you're not), but you don't quite think you're an adult (as seen on TV), then whats left? A girl-woman? A man-child? A baby-lady? Ok stop, I kind of feel like I'm at the circus.. 

Personally, I think its just a layover in what I like to call, Inbetween-ie. Let me explain.

My first summer post-college graduation, I worked as a manager and most of my employees fell in the 15-19 year old range. Holy, reality check. I would definitely say that was the first time I felt old (insert older audience rolling their eyes at the 22 year old talking about being old). Ok, let me rephrase. This was the moment I realized I was not 18 anymore, because yes, a small portion of my eternal college freshman self, thought I was. Upon realizing this, I did some math. These kids, who in my mind were generally my same age, were in high school. Not that far back I'm thinking. Until I realized that I had completed high school (4 years...check), AND college (4 years...check). Somewhere in between moving the decimal place over and carrying the 2, I realized that we were not playing the same ballgame. Ouch. And what hurt the most wasn't realizing I wasn't 16 anymore (sorry kids, I do not envy you), but it was connecting the dots and figuring out where that left me. Logically, you're either an adult, or not an adult. A or B. Heads or tails. And minus my growing case of Bieber Fever (don't act like you don't feel the same way), I would say that by default I fit into the former.  But to me, adult is such an odd concept...my parents are adults. Adults have kids. And houses. And jobs. And bills. And real responsibilities. I'm a 22 year old student.

So where are you when you don't fit one or the other? When you're not pounding beers Thursday-Sunday, but you're not tucking your kids in at night? You my friend, are in the land of  Inbetween-ie (and the best part, no age discrimination here)! You're teetering holding on for dear life on the cusp of adulthood, but just aren't there. Or you don't think you are. 

Take me for example. I am kind of a walking adult contradiction. I've graduated college, but I'm still a student. I prepare my own meals, but at times in the microwave. I have a savings account, but it only contains $25. I'm productive on the weekends, but only in my sweatpants. I have a routine and a job, but whenever possible I roll out of bed at the last minute to get there (honestly, I can't believe that it's almost March and someone at work hasn't said to me "If you're not going to shower in the morning, please at least look like you did..."). Welcome to Inbetween-ie.  So when are you kicked out? Good question.  

It's funny, many times I've heard my parents say that aging may change the way you look, but you don't feel older. Both of my parents swear they internally feel the same as they did when they were mid-twenties. Yes, I'm sure the responsibilities and the demands of life increase, but if we really don't change that much then maybe Inbetween-ie is just a primer for Adulthood. Kind of a preview. Maybe Adulthood isn't as scary as it sounds, and it shouldn't be feared. Maybe its just a different form of Inbetween-ie with slightly different priorities and rewards. 

Maybe its not that bad. I might even be looking forward to meeting it in the future...

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